When someone mentions the 5th of November, most people will think of Guy Fawkes Day. A day where fireworks is the order of the day, but the 5th of November 2018 changed all that for me because that was the day I found myself lying in a hospital bed with a doctor telling me I have a tumor eating away at my spine, and that I probably have cancer. Not the explosive news I wanted to hear.
If you know me, then you know that I normally don’t post much personal stuff on social media. I use it as a platform to post videos or pics to make others laugh, or post information about current affairs, or some photos of mine and the wife’s travels – something we love to do. Sharing something deeply personal is new territory for me, but it’s my story that I want to share with you in the hope that there’s someone out there going through something similar that could find inspiration from my journey to keep going and continue fighting.
My journey started on Guy Fawkes Day, but the trouble began a few months before that when I started having back pain. It’s something I’ve always struggled with over the years, mainly due to poor posture from sitting behind a PC from 9 to 5 going through thousands of lines of code, so when I again felt pain in my back a few months before I was admitted to hospital I assumed it was a run of the mill issue and just need to make a few visits to the physio, and all will be back to normal. Boy was I wrong! After months of appointments to the physio, chiropractors, natural healers, x-rays and my fair share of painkillers and Voltaren shots, nothing helped the pain subside. The pain eventually got to a point where I couldn’t sit at my desk one Friday and went home. I took some more painkillers and had a nap. This would normally help me but this time when I woke up, I had a strange tingling sensation in my legs but thought nothing of it. My main concern at the time was my back, forget about the leg issues.
Remember remember, the 5th of November
That weekend the weakness in my legs had gotten worse, to a point where I could hardly walk. My initial thought was possibly a pinched nerve – worst case scenario – so I planned to go to the doc on Monday morning to get it sorted. My GP then sent me to hospital that same day to get a single MRI scan. A single scan turned into 3 scans with a CT scan thrown in for good measure. Then, the night of 5 November 2018, the Neurosurgeon came to tell me that they found 2 tumors in my back, one of which was eating away at my spine. “Back pain.”
I struggled to focus on much else he was saying but I remember things like “growth in my chest“, “probably cancer” and “you might not be able to ever walk again.” All the while the TV in the hospital ward is playing music and I remember Calvin Harris’s I Am Giant song playing, but the mind is a wonderful thing… all I could hear was I am Dying, Ooh!
The very next day I found myself in ICU recovering from a 6-hour spinal decompression operation where they removed about half of the big tumor and repaired my spine with a couple of titanium metal rods and screws. The first thing I did when I woke up from surgery was wiggle my toes. That was basically all the movement I had in my legs, but I remember thinking to myself that it’s at least a start and the first day on my journey to recovery.
One day at a time
The night after surgery I had so many thoughts running through my mind, but I knew that I wasn’t going to let this get the better of me. I had to make a choice right there. Either I fall into a pit of depression or I can pick myself up and fight this. The choice was to fight, and my theme song became Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
Left leg forward, right leg forward
I would start each day as a new day filled with positivity and determination, and chose to celebrate every small victory. Just being able to sit up with my feet hanging off the bed was a victory. This was a fight that had to be taken on one day at a time but before I could focus on the thought of possibly having cancer, I had to figure out this walking thing. I basically had to learn to walk again. With no strength in my legs, lots of nerve damage, and a complete lack of control of how to move my legs, I basically became like a toddler learning to walk for the first time.
It took a long time to figure out but I had amazing physios to help with rehabilitation. I started with using a wheelchair to a zimmer frame to two crutches, then to one crutch and finally walking on my own. Victory!! The work is far from over though. Next is running properly again and I’ve accepted the challenge!
Hospital food for thought
Most hospitals get a bad rep for their food, but Milnerton Mediclinic outdid themselves! Bacon and eggs or chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, burgers, boerewors rolls and hearty stews for dinner – not too shabby. You then get visitors coming through who bring a full house gatsby into the hospital ward. Thanks Fransman!
The dreaded C word
A week after my op and the Neurosurgeon came to my hospital bed and gave me the news – the news I knew was coming but really wish it didn’t.
I have Cancer. Lymphoma, Stage 4.
2 tumors, the one half still lodged in the spine that also did some nerve damage and another in the lower back.
This sucks! I never thought I’d be the one getting cancer but I did, and now that I know I needed to move forward. Doc was impressed with my pragmatic approach but again I reminded myself that I chose to fight, and this is what I am doing. Rachel Platten told me so.
Treatment time!
The cancer was aggressive and because of this the doctors acted quickly with my treatment plan.
Within 3 weeks after that dreaded Guy Fawkes Day, I already had a PET scan and began 2 weeks of radiation treatment. Immediately after that I was onto chemo. 6 full eight hour sessions, every 3 weeks.
Chemo is no joke! It annihilated my immune system. So much so that I found myself back in hospital after my first session with an infection due to a low white blood cell count. It caused me to lose 20 kgs because I was unable to eat anything. Thankfully, I recovered from the infection and was discharged from hospital on Christmas Day!
We carry on!
On a side note, I went bald due to chemo, but did you know that you lose ALL your hair 😉
When it rains, it pours
So, you got stage 4 cancer, you were almost paralyzed by a spine eating tumor, but you’re getting treatment and hopefully you’re on the mend – it can only get better from here, right?
Apparently not.
A few days after my third chemo session I was at home with my wife and we’re busy making supper when you see a missed call from your parent’s house phone and from your mom’s number. I phone back and you hear the words that completely sink you. Daddy’s had a heart attack, come now!
My dad, my hero, passed away. The guy that always saw the positive in everything, the person that everyone loved, the gentleman that made me who I am today was taken from us. This was one of the worst days of my life, if not the worst. I was supposed to be in isolation but I didn’t care, all I could think of is why my daddy was taken away.
It was a long, hard journey for us as a family to come to terms with what happened. You start to question things – how can the God you love do this to us? It was the lowest of low points for me, and during this time I felt like throwing in the towel. I didn’t.
I had to remain strong and keep fighting. Not just for myself but for those around me – my wife, mom, sister, cousins… they also needed me to win this battle.
My people
In tough times like this, I cannot stress enough how important it is to have the support of loved ones. They truly keep you going. A phone call, a joke on WhatsApp, or a motivational message, all these small things help to pull you through dark times. My family and friends really rallied behind me.
My wife is something special. She was at my side every day through these challenging times and I could not have done this without her. She kept our household going, had to go to work, sat by my side through each chemo session, and ensured that I had everything I needed at home to make me comfortable. She did anything and everything in her power to make sure I was taken care of. She is my rock and I love her more and more every day!
16 May 2019: Victory!
After enduring a 6-hour spinal decompression operation, having to learn to walk again, radiation, chemo, numerous scans, several blood tests, a blood infection and death, I got the news I was waiting for – the news I fought tooth and nail to get, the news I gave up sweets and chocolates for… I am in complete remission!
7 months after my initial diagnosis I was given the all clear. I beat cancer! I became the first person in my family to beat this dreaded disease and it just proves that cancer can be beaten!
I beat it not only with faith and medicine, but with the will to live. You can have the best doctors in the world, but if your mind isn’t in the right space your battle becomes that much more difficult. Positivity is what wins the day.
My advice is to speak to people. Share what’s on your mind with those close to you, and also reach out to those that have had similar experiences. I did just that and it helped me immensely, and if you want to reach out to me, I am more than happy to talk.
This is not something you can do on your own and you have no idea what a positive mindset can do to help you get through a journey like this.
If you are going through something similar, I hope that this story gives you the motivation to push through and fight. Don’t give up, take it one day at a time and feed off the positive vibes from your loved ones.